Does it matter if my spouse and I pray together? This is a question we have been asked numerous times. And our answer is always, “Praying together is the best thing you can do for your marriage.” Whoa. That’s a strong statement so let’s unpack the reasons why prayer matters:
1. Prayer creates deeper intimacy.
As you and your spouse express your needs and your joys, you know each other better. You learn what your spouse is concerned about, what brings them happiness, and often what struggles and needs they’re facing. As you share these and discuss them, you grow together in spiritual and relational intimacy.
2. Prayer unites you before God.
When you pray together, you are submitting to God and recognizing your mutual dependence on him. Over time as you experience answers to your prayers, your trust in your Heavenly Father becomes stronger. You remind each other of God’s goodness and faithfulness even in times of hardship or trials.
3. Prayer protects you from the Enemy.
Satan is real and he hates your marriage. In fact, he does everything he can to create division, mistrust, and disunity between spouses. When a couple prays together, they bring God’s favor and protection into their marriage. It’s no longer just you and your spouse fighting the enemies of darkness. You have joined forces with Almighty God and His power is now available to you and your spouse. Optimize that power through prayer.
4. Prayer produces greater marital satisfaction.
Unfortunately, most couples don’t pray together (only about 5-6% of all couples pray together). Yet, when couples do pray together their chance of divorce is 1 in 1,152. Not only does praying together decrease your chance for divorce, it also increases your marital satisfaction. In a research project conducted by Christopher Ellison at the University of Texas and reported in the “Journal of Marriage and Family, it was discovered that couples who shared religious practices at home like prayer had a high degree of marital satisfaction.
We are SO committed to every couple learning to pray, that we wrote Build Your Marriage with Prayer. It’s a 40-day guide with forty topics. Each topic has a 2-3 page reading, followed by a written prayer and instructions for either the husband, wife or couple to pray depending on the day. Then there are two discussion questions on the topic. You can find the book on Amazon by clicking here.
Recently we were invited by Kirk Cameron to join him on his “Takeaways” show on TBN and talk about Build Your Marriage with Prayer. (You can watch the 21 minute interview with Kirk here.)
5. Prayer can change people, perspectives, and circumstances.
In our marriage, we’ve experienced times where we initially didn’t agree on an issue or idea. Sometimes this produced heated disagreements. We’ve learned that when we don’t agree, we call a time out and pray. Then we regroup in a day or two. Often the result is one of us has had a change of heart. Several years ago this happened when we were discussing the purchase of a used vehicle. Heidi was completely against the idea, while Brad thought the purchase made a lot of sense. We prayed about it independently for several hours and when we approached the subject again, Heidi had changed her mind. Today we still drive that car and we are thankful to God for his guidance.
6. Prayer gives your marriage hope.
What are you hoping for in your marriage? Better communication? A resolution to a financial struggle? Physical or emotional healing? Deeper intimacy? A better sex life? Greater empathy? A new job? As you build your marriage by praying together, focus on God’s words from Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”