In our marriage we continually have working “resolutions” on things we want to improve. In order to lead Build Your Marriage we are on a quest to build OUR marriage! 🙂 Pastor and author Bill Hybels says, every leader has a “holy discontent” with the status quo and we believe the same should be true for our marriages, too!
As you look toward 2018 here are five resolutions we believe every couple can make that will dramatically improve and build YOUR marriage:
1. We resolve to regularly pray together
Estimates are that up to 95% of all Christian couples do NOT pray together, and yet this is one of the most important practices to build your marriage. Prayer is a uniting of your souls in the presence of God. Prayer together unifies you. The intimacy shared in prayer bonds the two of you together with a greater depth of understanding.
Pray together about the things that matter to you both. Pray for your children and family. Pray about decisions on the horizon. Pray and thank God specifically for his blessings to you both.
2. We resolve to practice gratitude
It can be so easy to look at what’s going wrong or at our hardships. Make this next year one of drawing each other toward what is RIGHT and GOOD in your lives. Start with building up one another with encouragement and appreciation. Every day tell each other something for which you are grateful in life. Not only will your perspective change, but your faith in God will increase as you see his active presence bringing good to your lives.
3. We resolve to listen before speaking
Misunderstanding and conflict often arises from simply not understanding what our spouse is saying. We protect our marriage when we discipline ourselves to fully listen to what is being shared. Ask questions to grasp their thoughts in what is being shared. Making the choice to deeply listen is an expression of love and respect in marriage, and this next year you can take it to a new level!
4. We resolve to date at least twice a month
To build your marriage you HAVE to have focused time with each other. Intentionally setting aside time for conversation that is exclusively for the two of you elevates the value of your marriage in your hearts. It connects you both with activities and memories that are exclusive for the two of you. Here’s a link to an article we wrote on dating that may be helpful.
5. We resolve to look ahead with hope
It’s a new year and a fresh start for you both. Instead of looking back at each other’s mistakes, faults and failings, make the conscious choice to look ahead and assume the best of each other. Face the future with a united resolve and commitment to each other. Assume the best and cheer each other on.
As you make and implement these resolutions for the new year, you will be bonded together in your faith and your future. No longer satisfied with the status quo, you will have a “holy discontent” that takes you to new heights as you build your marriage!