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Encouraging Your Spouse Toward Doing Good

“…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24

We are introducing a new angle of motivation for most couples in their marriage. One of the roles each person has is to encourage their spouse to become the best person they possibly can be. This can take many forms including professionally, parentally, and spiritually.

The writer to the Hebrews in the Bible gives another approach to encourage people to be their best. He writes, “…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,” (Hebrews 10:24).

To “consider” means to give intentional thought. To “spur…on” has the idea of motivating, or prodding. Put together, there is a proactive mindfulness in how to guide our spouse to being a more loving and action-oriented individual. As our spouse grows in these areas, they also grow in their spiritual formation and walk with Christ. Their personal growth will, in turn, impact not only your marriage, but your family as well.

In no way does this diminish or negate the love or actions that currently comprise who they are. Instead, the emphasis is on taking each other deeper and further in those expressions.

Here are some ways you might spur each other on toward love and good deeds:


The New Testament was originally written in the Greek language. Three of the four different Greek words for love are found in the NT (agape, phileo, eros, and the fourth is stergo). The word used here is agape which reflects a self-sacrificing love. This can prove to be a challenge, at times, because you are encouraging a sacrificial action on your spouse’s part and you must do so lovingly! Even so, it can be done and it ultimately is in your mate’s best interest.

Here are a few ways to consider spurring on your spouse in love…

  • When they need to forgive but don’t feel like forgiving. Forgiveness is a choice and it may or may not be attended by feelings.
  • When they don’t feel loving—perhaps toward a family member, friend, neighbor, work associate or someone at church.
  • When you see an opportunity where they could reach out to someone in need at church or in the neighborhood.
  • When our spouse chooses to act un-loving and you can urge them to make it right.

Good deeds

  • When you see a place where their abilities/gifts can be used at church or in the community.
  • When they need to take the “high road” toward someone who has hurt or wronged them.
  • When there’s an opportunity to serve the less fortunate in your community (you can do this together!).
  • When they are conflicted to make decisions that are not God honoring—you can urge them to make right choices.

What would you add to these two lists? How have you spurred each other on toward love and good deeds? Give it some thought, be intentional, and as you build each other up you will build your marriage!