What does it take to make each day count in your marriage? It’s easy in the busyness of life to let things slide by, to relegate what matters most to the shadows of our lives and let the tyranny of the urgent rule. After our faith in Jesus Christ, what matters most is the health of our marriage.
Funerals have a way of reminding us that the number of our days is limited. They re-clarify what really matters in life. When Brad’s aunt died, we did some thinking about this. She was a godly woman who served Jesus for over 35 years in Korea teaching music at Seoul Theological University. She never married, but she had hundreds of students who called her “mom” and mourned deeply over her passing.
As we reflected on a life well-lived, we thought of four things that should be part of every couple’s day—four things to make each day count in your marriage. They are:
1. Pray faithfully
A healthy marriage prays together daily. You may not be comfortable at first praying out loud in front of your spouse, that’s ok. Pray anyway. It may be a simple sentence like, “Lord, bless our marriage and draw us close to you.” But as you pray regularly your comfort level will increase and your intimacy and fulfillment will soar.
2. Speak respectfully
It’s easy in marriage to get casual and flippant with our words. We might even become calloused to our spouse’s disrespect over time. But your children hear it and will emulate it. Others who watch your marriage hear it. And God hears it.
Ask God to re-sensitize you to the words and tone of voice you use. Every day counts. A great prayer to pray is from Psalm 141:3, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” You are asking him to put an angelic guard on post at your mouth! When you pray that every morning and through the day, you can be sure He will answer your prayer and retrain your speech to your spouse!
3. Love sacrificially
Marriage is giving all of yourselves to each other. In the dailyness of life it is learning to sacrifice one’s self for the well-being of our spouse. That’s the love that Jesus showed to each of us and we bring Christ into our marriage as we serve our mate.
So what might you do that would bless your spouse and be a sacrifice? It might be as simple as engaging in a prolonged conversation because they thrive on your fullest attention. Perhaps it would be offering to rub their feet, or free them up from tasks around the house so they can do something they would enjoy. Ask God to show you what it might be—you can be sure that’s a prayer He loves to answer!
4. Touch frequently
Research has shown that the more couples touch each other, the greater their experience of marital satisfaction. We’ve written an entire post on touch and you can find it here. As we write, by simply walking past your spouse and touching their back, you help them connect with you. Reaching over to hold their hand communicates love. Hugging good-bye increases your mate’s longing for you in your absence. Holding each other for a moment in the press of a busy day simply says, “I’m glad we’re doing life together.”
Those simple four ways to make each day count in your marriage can be started today. Be intentional and make the decision to make each day count as you build your marriage!