“Did I marry the wrong person?”
Have you ever asked yourself this question? The triggers that bring this to the forefront of our minds—and perhaps even into a conversation with a close confidant—are varied. The question:
- Can fly into our minds during a heated conflict
- Shows up during a season of marital boredom
- Creeps in when our spouse refuses to love us as we desire to be loved (touch, words, gifts, etc.)
- Presses in when romance and sex no longer are a regular part of our marriage
- Pummels us after a significant betrayal
- Lurks when we allow ourself to think back about an old “flame” and miss the feelings we experienced back then
- Slips into our thoughts out of nowhere
The Second Question
The question, “Did I marry the wrong person?” has to be followed up with a second question: “Should I even allow myself to ponder this?” Frankly, we don’t believe anyone should second guess their spousal choice. In fact, we would go so far as to say that as soon as the question arises, it should be rejected and fought against because it does not come from God.
Instead, we believe that this question is designed by the Enemy of marriages. We believe that he wants to weaken your foundation of faithfulness. We believe that he wants to deaden your determination to fight for your marriage. The Enemy of your marriage wants you to give up, walk away, and look for someone “better” so you can be “happy.”
Finding the Answer
We believe that you did not marry the wrong person. Your spouse may have made sinful choices which have future consequences on your marriage–that’s a different issue. But once you each declared your vows “for better or for worse, till death do us part” there is no longer any second-guessing if you married the right person. Instead, claim the promise in the Bible that “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13), fight for your marriage, and…
- You take responsibility
- You do what you did when you fell in love
- You pray for God’s direction
- You pray for stamina and perseverance
- You keep your integrity
- You read books, grow as a person and as a spouse
- You guard your heart from bitterness
- You keep walls from building in your spirit toward your spouse
- You remember your vows before God, family and friends
And remember that you married the RIGHT person as you build your marriage!