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The 7 Lies of Marriage–part 3

Lie #3: My Spouse Will Never Change

Throughout the pages of the Bible are examples of people whose lives experienced change.

  • The disciples transformed from cowardly to bold.
  • Paul persecuted Christians and then became a Christ-follower.
  • David changed through repentance.
  • Joseph changed from prideful to humble, to name a few.

To say that your spouse will never change is to deny the power of the Holy Spirit in your spouse’s life.  We believe that Jesus can change anyone who sincerely repents and has a desire to change. We’ve seen it.

  • We have seen the transformation as people have received Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
  • We have looked on as husbands or wives have repented of adultery.
  • We have seen women apologize for disrespecting their husbands.
  • We have known husbands who changed and became strong, godly leaders in their homes.
  • We have known couples who have acquired massive debt as spenders only to eliminate it all as wise stewards.

2 Corinthians 5:17 is a passage of promise and change that we love:  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” People, through the power of Jesus, can change.

Sometimes, however, it’s not our spouse who needs to change, sometimes it’s our attitude and behavior toward our spouse that needs change.  Perhaps our attitude towards our spouse has been rooted in selfishness or pride.  Maybe we don’t want to forgive our spouse. It could be that we are the one who needs an attitude adjustment.

We believe one of the best ways to bring about change in your spouse (or you) is through prayer. Never underestimate the power of prayer in transforming you, your spouse, your family, and your marriage.  Every time you feel frustration or hopeless in your marriage, take the matter to God in prayer. Don’t hold anything back.  Ask him for wisdom (see James 1:5), insight and understanding. Pray for patience and peace.

Finally, ask God to help you see the change in you as well as in your spouse. Hold onto the God of all hope and as you do you will build your marriage.