Our friends are hurting. One friend’s sister passed away unexpectedly. Two other friends have moms who are recovering from serious, life-saving surgeries. Other friends are experiencing challenges in their business. Dear friends are walking the journey of a health diagnosis they never expected. Another couple is trying to restore their marriage after learning of one spouse’s infidelity. All these couples are friends of ours and they are all facing uncertainty and pain right now.
When your friends hurt, how can you care for them and let them know they’re not alone? What can you as a couple do to show them the love of Jesus? We believe it’s better to do something rather than nothing. Here are some practical steps you can take today:
1. Act quickly
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Don’t wait for several days to reach out or respond. Unfortunately, we have made this mistake in our marriage several times and each time we’ve regretted it. Often your friends need you now to help them process their shock and grief. If you wait too long to reach out, your friends may feel like you don’t care about them. You’ll miss the opportunity to provide timely help that only you can give.
2. Do something
“When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:13)
Think of what you’d like if you were in their situation. Would a meal be helpful? If you don’t have time to make one, order takeout for your friends. When you communicate to them that you’re bringing a meal, say something like, “We really want to bring dinner tonight (or tomorrow night). What would you like?” if a meal isn’t possible, send a card or flowers, or text them. Ask them if you can run errands for them or clean their house. Could you order some groceries for them? Let them know you’re thinking of them and praying for them.
3. Be available
“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
Don’t force your friends to talk. Often your presence is the best gift you can give them even if you are silent. You know your friends. Some individuals want to talk about their situation; others don’t. Be sensitive to the needs of your friends. Their pain isn’t about you; it’s about their hurt so follow their lead.
4. Follow-up
After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” (Acts 15:36)
Whatever your friends are experiencing is painful. Don’t ignore them even when the intensity of the crisis settles down. Contact them in a few days to check in and see how they’re doing. Let them know you remember what they’re going through. Your friends feel cared for when you don’t neglect them.
5. Pray
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Philippians 4:6)
When a friend is hurting (or several friends are in pain at the same time), you can feel overwhelmed and helpless. This is when you recognize your limits, do what you can, and pray. Pray for your friends to experience the peace and comfort of God. Pray for other individuals to minister to your friends as well. God can place another believer in their path to encourage them. Pray fervently to God and entrust your friends to your heavenly Father who knows all and sees all. Ask for his wisdom, comfort, and peace.
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2) as you build your marriage.