February 14th is fast approaching. Are you ready? According to Drive Research, 59% of people will celebrate Valentine’s Day worldwide. The most popular flower given is the red rose, accounting for 70% of all Valentine’s flower purchases. Hallmark reported 145 million cards are given on Valentine’s Day and the average price for a couple’s dinner out is $121. Obviously, Valentine’s Day is a big deal. How can you hit the mark with your spouse instead of ruining the day? Here are some mistakes to avoid:
1. Ignore the day.
How would you feel if your spouse decided to skip Christmas this year or failed to celebrate your birthday? You wouldn’t feel important, cared for, or loved. That’s what happens when you or your spouse treats Valentine’s Day like a “normal” day. It communicates to your spouse that your love isn’t worth celebrating. Celebrations are vital to a happy marriage. Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Every day is a gift from God to be cherished. When you and your spouse take time to celebrate together, you connect and foster unity in your marriage. Life can be tough sometimes, and celebrating brings joy and thanksgiving into your marriage. You can find some ideas for celebrating here.
2. Unrealistic expectations.
On our first anniversary, Heidi had all kinds of expectations. One of those was receiving a card from Brad. That first anniversary card, along with cards from every year of our marriage, would be saved. Then at our 50th anniversary party we would display our anniversary cards from each year. Well, that expectation was ruined the first year when Brad failed to purchase an anniversary card for Heidi (he hasn’t missed a year since).
Just like Heidi, you can have unrealistic expectations based on romantic movies, what your friends experience, or just an imagination gone wild. We think you’ll have a happier Valentine’s Day if you don’t place expectations on your spouse, but instead foster a mindset of gratitude. Lower your expectations and be thankful for any gift, act of kindness, or effort your spouse puts forth to demonstrate love. Then thank your spouse for loving you.
3. Spend too much money.
Love should be expressed to your spouse daily, not just on your anniversary and February 14th. Don’t go crazy on Valentine’s Day purchasing multiple gifts, flowers, chocolates, and dinner out just to impress your spouse OR meet their expectations. Celebrate well and honor your spouse, but stay within a reasonable budget that the two of you agree upon prior to Valentine’s Day.
4. Fail to plan ahead.
Many couples go to concerts, movies, or dinner on Valentine’s Day. Don’t procrastinate and wait until the last minute only to be disappointed that you can’t get a reservation at your favorite restaurant or your babysitter isn’t available. This applies to purchasing flowers, cards, and gifts. If you want the best selection, give yourself a deadline and make your purchases before that date. Take the initiative and make your plans early. You will be the biggest winner. Proverbs 21:5 tells us, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit.”
5. Think of yourself instead of your spouse.
In Philippians 2:4 we are reminded to look not only to our own interests but also to the interests of others. That includes your spouse. Don’t buy a gift for your spouse that you really want. For instance, if you want a new vacuum cleaner and your spouse doesn’t like to vacuum, don’t give them a vacuum. Ask yourself, “What’s something my spouse would really enjoy?” Maybe your spouse would like a card, a day on the golf course or at the spa, a new shirt, or a dinner out. Another idea is to purchase something you both enjoy. Perhaps an item for your house or a book to help you connect with each other. (You might like THIS book that we wrote to help spouses connect.)
If money is tight and you can’t afford to buy a gift this year, that’s okay. You can still write a note or find a card with wording that expresses your thoughts about your spouse. You can always include a special chocolate bar with your card. 🙂
There’s no excuse to ruin February 14th this year. You still have time to make it a great day. You can have a successful, memorable Valentine’s Day with some planning and effort as you and your spouse build your marriage.